The Deli Counter
           Location: Whole Foods, Columbus Circle- NY, NY
              
                              September 24, 2008

I was at Whole Foods yesterday schlepping around for groceries after my breakfast with a very handsome, upscale, single potential client, Gary* (a big shot in the sports scene). After dumping my organic raspberries into my green plastic bin, I headed to my last stop: the deli counter.

Waiting in line for my cheese and turkey, I overheard the rather tall man in front of me ordering his lunch meats.

I thought that I was specific with my order of slender low- fat white-American organic Horizon cheese, but apparently others are particular as well.

The man instructed the Mexican guy, Ernesto, behind the counter, “Make sure the turkey is sliced very thin. VERY THIN.” He enunciated the words tactfully and slowly. His fear of the little guy missing the word turkey and grabbing the Sara Lee extra juicy ham by accident was exceptionally apparent.

Finding this very funny, being the New York matchmaker  that I am, I switched my bin to the other hand and peered around to look at Mr. slim turkey. Woh. Big Brown eyes under a brown curly head of hair, chiseled chin. I looked down. Nope, no ring, which means he fits the profile for my matchmaking services.

 As he questioned Ernesto again, “that’s turkey, right?’" (boy am I smart) I made my entrance.

“My god, men are brutal,” I exclaimed. “Not only do you want her thin but you want your turkey thin too?!” Sounds like stories I wrote as Americas top matchmaker.

He turned around and laughed. Why? Because he knows I’m right. Men have an allergy to fat. It doesn’t matter if its turkey or a woman.

“I like my turkey a certain way, what can I say,” he bantered.

Ernesto handed him the slim white packet and he put it in his matching green bin.

As Mr. Lean walked away, he yelled over his shoulder, “Have a great day!”

“You too,” I said, watching him walk towards the front of the store. Business card, I thought to myself! Oops, too late. I hate to admit it, but even I make mistakes too.

I headed up to Ernesto to order my organic American cheese. As he handed me the Horizon package, he said, “You want anything else?”

“Yes, turkey,” I said with a smile. “Sliced very thin.”