Bachelor of the Week #1
Hello, Elvis (and his friends)
Location: Fish store, Hamptons (aka, land of the rich and famous)
August 7, 2008
Last weekend, disheveled and makeup-less from a day at the beach with my family, I stopped at the fish store on the way home. Leaving the fam in the car, I ran in to grab some food for dinner. The second I walked in I spotted a very, VERY cute guy. I instantly knew (from my sixth sense…and his Rolex watch), that he was important. As I observed him between the glass cases of salmon and the shrimp (with the heads still on), I noticed that he was purchasing an awful lot of food and live lobsters. I, (being quite the antisocial type ) curiously thought to myself, hmmmm… party??
I casually walked up to him. “What’s the occasion?” I said. He replied, “A friend of mine is performing out here. We are having a dinner party on Saturday at my house in Sagaponack (only THE MOST expensive zip code in the country). Would you like to come?”
Not missing a beat, I inquired, “Who’s your friend?”
“Elvis Costello,” he said. Woh, hold on.
“THE Elvis Costello???” I asked.
He looked straight back at me with those awesome blue eyes and said, “Well, there’s only one!”
Not being deterred by this incredible piece of information, I quickly moved on (like the true business woman that I am). ”How many single people will be at this party?” I inquired, even though as the words came out of my mouth it was with the assumption that he was married, due to the dinner party, being at the fish store, etc. (I didn’t care because a big Elvis Costello party with single men that probably look like him? I’m THERE)
“You mean other than me?” he bantered.
BINGO. Not married. And HOT. As I launched into my "repertoire," I reflected on my INCREDIBLE radar. Wealthy, good-looking, single, and nice. EVERY time. He poured out his history to me: divorced, grown daughters, almost retired, etc. I listened with interest, then gave him a card and got his cell and email. What’s my next step, you may ask? Well, besides putting the Costello party in my black book (where I will likely pick up 75 men, AT LEAST), I’ll set up a dinner with him, so that he can tell me exactly who he is and what he is looking for. Then I will figure out who the perfect women are for him. Just think, it COULD BE ONE OF YOU!!! Oh, after I get a check from him of course!!!!
From the editor…
Important things Janis did when this happened:
1. Janis left her family in the car when she went into the fish store. Being ALONE signifies being SINGLE.
2. Even though Janis did not feel “adequately dressed and makeuped” at the time, she didn’t let it bother her and went up to him anyways. Why was she able to do this? Confidence.
3. Never assume anything! Even though you may think he is married, if he is not wearing a wedding band, he is probably single.
4. Janis got HIS cell phone number as well as giving him her card. You may give him your card and think, he’s definitely going to call, but then you fret for the next week when he doesn’t and decide it’s definitely because you were breaking out that day. Not true! Your card is probably sitting in the garbage at Chen’s Dry Cleaners. Play it safe. Give him your info, but ALWAYS ASK FOR HIS NUMBER!
5. Janis went to the Costello party, where she proceeded to pick up a MINDBLOWING number of men. DO NOT throw opportunities in the garbage. They may only come once.
sk
Want to read more? Visit Janis' EPA blog and read about the adventures of the editor, Janis's New York Matchmaker in training, at www.janisepablog.com
Upscale Professional Matchmaking
Location: Fish store, Hamptons (aka, land of the rich and famous)
August 7, 2008
Last weekend, disheveled and makeup-less from a day at the beach with my family, I stopped at the fish store on the way home. Leaving the fam in the car, I ran in to grab some food for dinner. The second I walked in I spotted a very, VERY cute guy. I instantly knew (from my sixth sense…and his Rolex watch), that he was important. As I observed him between the glass cases of salmon and the shrimp (with the heads still on), I noticed that he was purchasing an awful lot of food and live lobsters. I, (being quite the antisocial type ) curiously thought to myself, hmmmm… party??
I casually walked up to him. “What’s the occasion?” I said. He replied, “A friend of mine is performing out here. We are having a dinner party on Saturday at my house in Sagaponack (only THE MOST expensive zip code in the country). Would you like to come?”
Not missing a beat, I inquired, “Who’s your friend?”
“Elvis Costello,” he said. Woh, hold on.
“THE Elvis Costello???” I asked.
He looked straight back at me with those awesome blue eyes and said, “Well, there’s only one!”
Not being deterred by this incredible piece of information, I quickly moved on (like the true business woman that I am). ”How many single people will be at this party?” I inquired, even though as the words came out of my mouth it was with the assumption that he was married, due to the dinner party, being at the fish store, etc. (I didn’t care because a big Elvis Costello party with single men that probably look like him? I’m THERE)
“You mean other than me?” he bantered.
BINGO. Not married. And HOT. As I launched into my "repertoire," I reflected on my INCREDIBLE radar. Wealthy, good-looking, single, and nice. EVERY time. He poured out his history to me: divorced, grown daughters, almost retired, etc. I listened with interest, then gave him a card and got his cell and email. What’s my next step, you may ask? Well, besides putting the Costello party in my black book (where I will likely pick up 75 men, AT LEAST), I’ll set up a dinner with him, so that he can tell me exactly who he is and what he is looking for. Then I will figure out who the perfect women are for him. Just think, it COULD BE ONE OF YOU!!! Oh, after I get a check from him of course!!!!
From the editor…
Important things Janis did when this happened:
1. Janis left her family in the car when she went into the fish store. Being ALONE signifies being SINGLE.
2. Even though Janis did not feel “adequately dressed and makeuped” at the time, she didn’t let it bother her and went up to him anyways. Why was she able to do this? Confidence.
3. Never assume anything! Even though you may think he is married, if he is not wearing a wedding band, he is probably single.
4. Janis got HIS cell phone number as well as giving him her card. You may give him your card and think, he’s definitely going to call, but then you fret for the next week when he doesn’t and decide it’s definitely because you were breaking out that day. Not true! Your card is probably sitting in the garbage at Chen’s Dry Cleaners. Play it safe. Give him your info, but ALWAYS ASK FOR HIS NUMBER!
5. Janis went to the Costello party, where she proceeded to pick up a MINDBLOWING number of men. DO NOT throw opportunities in the garbage. They may only come once.
sk
Want to read more? Visit Janis' EPA blog and read about the adventures of the editor, Janis's New York Matchmaker in training, at www.janisepablog.com
Upscale Professional Matchmaking
Janis,
You are such an awesome teacher, thank you for sharing your techniques with me, you are the greatest....
Rayna
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The whole time I was reading this episode I was thinking...I wonder if she could help older people. Then, ta da...it turns out that he was an older person, near retirement. Wooo hooo! Just having read that gives we women who feel like giving up the impetus to not do so. Thank you Janis! I think you should consider the possibility of starting a new business that will instruct the ladies, who have the extra luggage that comes with a failed marriage or widowhood or just never married, the art of becoming someone desirable and lovable starting with themselves. I can tell you from experience that remarriage for me is going to be an absolute no no. I do not make good choices. I've been married three times. My first husband committed suicide. My second was such a sweet alcoholic that I never knew till it was too late for anything but a divorce. My third husband decided that I was having such fun as a woman that he should become one also. I attract them like moths to a flame! What I am trying to say is that we women out there, who become that desperate, need a place to go to re-parent themselves or re-educate themselves on how to make better choices. A psychiatrists office isn't nearly as fun as a "ladies in waiting" training resort would be, Ms Spindel. Want to think about it? Maybe you could franchise it out to cover the 50 states and internationally. Wow! Awesome!
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