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Confessions of a neurotic intern: The misadventures of working for top matchmaker Janis Spindel
Blog: Confessions of a neurotic intern: The misadventures of working for top matchmaker Janis Spindel
The Setting Parlor Steakhouse
The Time: 9: 00 P.M
The Goal: To eat dinner, scout men and provide Janis with feedback from her most recent lecture
Interning for top matchmaker Janis Spindel has allowed me the opportunity to gain insight on the art of not only matchmaking, but the tools I need in order to "pick up" men successfully! Janis is a firm believer in "picking up" men whether they're a potential client, a possible date for her daughter, or for the sheer thrill of flirting with a cute guy who probably has a single friend. One of Janis' many philosophies that I have learned while interning for the upscale matchmaker, is that picking up a man starts with a simple question that leads to a conversation. I didn't believe that this actually works because I assumed that men would peg you as awkward with a lack of understanding of social norms if you arbitrarily approached them.
The matchmaker, however, told me how wrong I was. Janis is always on her game and is ready to pick up the next good looking man that is within her vicinity. Janis is fun to go out with especially for someone who doesn't drink! She is ALWAYS very aware of her surroundings. For example, before the appetizers came she noticed a gorgeous blonde woman with two gentlemen, her attention was immediately fixated on the group. "Which one is she with?", she asked me. She noticed one of the gentleman's watches, and could immediately tell that he was well-off. I noticed that Janis looks for subtle cues when she picks up men, whether it's the way they carry themselves, a particular brand name watch, or the type of wine they choose. When one of the guys got up to go to the restroom, Janis stopped him and asked him whether he or the other gentlemen were "with" the beautiful blonde.
"Neither of us.. excuse me one second", and he proceeded to the bathroom. To my surprise, he returned to our table! I guess he really did have to go! When he returned, he explained that the three of them were at a business dinner and then asked if he could sit down. I couldn't believe that Janis' energy and confidence had allowed this gentlemen to feel comfortable enough to sit down with us. This was an example of Janis' sharp radar for attractive young men. He turned out to be super nice, good looking, and single. He then politely turned his attention to me asked me what I was doing that evening and I replied that I didn't have any plans as of yet. With no hesitation he invited me to a party at Hudson Terrace for the evening with him and his colleagues. That was quick, I said to myself. The night quickly shifted from hours of boring Seinfeld episodes to a night out on the town with a beyond hot guy! Only if I could bring Janis with me everywhere! She is a guy magnet!
What was so amusing to me, was that all it took was the ability to strike up simple conversation. Paul noticed Janis" "inviting vibe" and played off of it! he obviously felt so comfortable and welcome, he sat right down and chatted up the night with us.! I thought to myself, is this possible for regular young women like myself to be able to exude this kind of energy? I would have to try it out, or maybe I'll just ask Janis to come along again! 
Matchmaker Teams Up With Dating Coach Daughter
Wall Street Journal Article:
Wednesday night, the New York-based matchmaker Janis Spindel, who has matched 908 couples, is hosting her version of “The Love Boat” on World Yacht, a dining cruise docked at Pier 81 off West 41st Street.
“It’s a ‘Come Meet Your Husband’ party,” Ms. Spindel said the other day. She was leaving the World Financial Center where she had lunch with an “absolutely to die for,” six-foot-four Goldman Sachs “handsome hunk,” a new client. “His body was making me tremble,” she said. She was on her way up to Bergdorf Goodman “because the makeup counter is a great place to scout women.”
Anyway, the boat. “I have basically matched up 25 of the most awesome, awesome, awesome, awesome bachelors in New York with, believe it or not, 55 of the hottest, smartest, sexiest, most amazing, amazing, amazing women ever, ever, ever. I will introduce everyone to everyone and my assumption is that 17 or 18 will be on their way to marriage.”
Ms. Spindel, who “froze at 50 since age is a number and mine is unlisted,” said she has used the “really, really romantic setting” for years to throw dinner parties. Does anyone ever get sick? “A couple people have said that they’re going to have to take something before they get on. It’s not like we’re in the middle of the ocean here!”
What will the food be like? “It’s open bar and hors d’oeuvres and a buffet so I can have people sit where I want them to sit.” So there will be pigs in a blanket? “Ugh! It’s very, very upscale. The men are paying $500 and the women are paying $100. I would never ever, ever, ever serve pigs in a blanket. I just think they’re gross.”
Upon the suggestion that she run a monthly Love Boat party, she said, “Hello! I don’t think so. My body couldn’t take it. Too much drama, too much stress, men calling me at all hours.” Instead, she typically works one-on-one. Men pay her between $50,000 (if they’re local) and $500,000(“if I really have to step out of the box,” she said) to find them a match.
Matchmaker-client relationship starts with a lunch. “Part of the test is they pick the restaurant. Are they a take-charge type or a man without a plan? If they’re my kind of guys, they take me to really elegant upscale yummy restaurants. Daniel. Bouley. You know.”
Is this a reality show or what? Actually, Ms. Spindel said she did a demo reel for Bravo years ago, but “my clients never never in life would go on television.” She said her business has been “up about 45 percent” since the network’s competing “Millionaire Matchmaker” began airing. “People watch the show and go right to the Internet, they Google and find me,” she explained.
A reporter suggested that perhaps the show could be about her relationship with her 24-year-old daughter, a blogger named Carly, who, according to her mother is “the new Carrie Bradshaw.” Has she found her a husband yet?
“She’s definitely dating a bunch of guys, but she’s too young,” Ms. Spindel said. “She’s not going to get married until 28, and she’ll have her first kid at 30 or 32, the second one at 35. I’ve got it all planned.”
http://www.janisspindelmatchmaker.com
http://www.carlysdatingchronicles.com
http://www.janis-spindel.com
Matchmaking Tips for Women
A KNEE-JERK TO THE HEART
So I started physical therapy today on my knee (which I probably injured chasing down hottie #17,683 down the grocery aisle, who knows?). As soon as I saw my physical therapist, my jaw dropped...GORGEOUS GORGEOUS GORGEOUS! The order of which I scan potential matchmaking clients (depending on whether I'm sitting in first-class or standing in line to the opera, for instance) goes as follows:
1. Visage
2. Physique
3. Ring Finger
Physical Therapist Scan: #1- Check.... #2- Check...#3- Oh, no!
So my hopes were dashed as soon as they were born...but did that ever stop me?! My prayers were answered before I even thought them as lo and behold...the gentleman I was treated with, was even more GORGEOUS than Mr. Therapist!!!
And so I scan: #1- Check.... #2- Check...#3- Check! BINGO!!!
And have I ever been wrong with my instincts? (18 years in the matchmaking business) Within 5 minutes of our conversation, I find out he's an Ivy League Dean and proceed to pocket his card.
So now I'm looking at Mr. Dean's card and thinking...I'm up for an Academic Match!!!
Moral of the Story: You can meet a man anytime, anywhere...with the right attitude and body language...even if it's a contorted lets-fix-your-knee pose!
HAHA Update: So I'm off to Bridgehampton this weekend, and just as is typical of my life, Sweet Coincidence intervenes - Mr. Dean has a home in Sag Harbor! Of course, we've scheduled lunch to discuss my matchmaking services!
http://www.janisspindelmatchmaker.com
http://www.carlysdatingchronicles.com
http://www.janis-spindel.com
Matchmakers Menu...WHAT'S FOR LUNCH...MUSCLES?!
Running late for lunch at fab Geisha on East 61st between Park & Madison...my goal is to get to my table ASAP...no distractions Janis...be a race-horse with blinders on...SCREECH!!
I halt to a stop at a table for two (my peripheral just can't help itself and scans a total hottie without a wedding band) and utter breathlessly...
Me: I'm sorry but your movie-star good looks just stopped me in my tracks, literally!
Mr. Movie-Star: Oh thanks. You're the sweetest thing in all of North America.
Me: Oh, are you not from here?
Mr. Movie-Star: I am, but I travel a lot to my other homes.
As I'm about to get to the clincher, Mr. Movie-Star's friend asks sheepishly, "Hey, what about me? Am I a gorgon or something?!"
Me: No honey, you are a certified cutie...just not on the level of Mr. Movie-Star over here!
I get right to the point as I am, after all, running behind on my lunch reservation! So in 2 minutes, I find out Mr. Movie-Star's statistics (which in real-world-dating-time, would probably take 2 months to figure out): 49 yrs. old, 6'2", divorced, 2 kids and nicknamed "Iron Man"!
So my Wednesday has turned out to be the yummiest day of the week thus far: a To-Die-For Asian Chicken Salad, and a new hottie to match!!!
Moral of the Story: You can meet a man anytime, anywhere...at any time of the day, including lunch rush when you think you're about to be classified anorexic if you don't stuff your mouth ASAP!
Follow Carly Spindel on her 6-week virtual dating advice course at www.carlysdatingchronicles.com
Dating Advice Breakthrough
Do You Believe in Love? Matchmakers Daughter Believes in Love So Much That She Quit Her Job to Test Her Mother’s Dating Advice on Herself!
Carly Spindel plans to embark on a six-week program to find the perfect man. She will be testing out a course developed by her mother, Janis Spindel, Americas top matchmaker with two decades of experience. Then, she plans to challenge single women around the world to try the COURSE for themselves.
http://www.carlysdatingchronicles.com
Matchmaking Tips: Out With the Old and In With The New...love
Every year the Jewish Center of the Hamptons has an incredible yard sale. Visitors come from all over to line up at 7AM for a 10AM start! So of course, me being the avid shopper that I am- I was there at 9AM SHARP!!!
Just when I thought that my morning couldn't get any better...as soon as I walked in I saw the most gorgeous dark curly haired man leaning up against the fence with a puzzled expression on his face.
"Your first time?" I asked.
"I'm General Counsel at a big law firm way out on Long Island."
"So you're smart and good looking!...so of course my next question had to be... do you have a girlfriend?? I asked.
"And why would I need a matchmaker, I'm only 36." he quickly responded.
"Maybe I do need to slow things down a little..but we'll just have to wait and see." he smiled.
With me, you never know where you'll meet a client!
Serious Matchmaking Inc. Presents "Flirting with Fennel"
Serious Matchmaking Inc. Presents Flirting with Fennel
Doing what I do best, no not matchmaking, my second passion- shopping! Although not for me this time! I was food shopping for all of my guests for the biggest matchmaking weekend of the summer-
July 4th! in the Hamptons of course!
Walking around minding my own business, or not! I overheard a woman speaking to her husband about “fennel”.
Hmm....fennel!? I love fennel! I thought.
So of course, I ask the husband, “Which is fennel? What do you do with it? Which part do you eat?” Do you have to peel it?”
Haha- can you tell I’ve never cooked fennel before!
Out of left field – I hear: “Frank, you have to charge her for all of this information- no freebies,” said this BEYOND handsome man standing 3 feet away, (wearing a Princeton t-shirt I might add).
“Just because you went to Princeton , doesn’t mean you’re so smart!” I said jokingly.
“Haha, No, worse! I didn’t go to Princeton , I paid for someone to go,” he responded.
“Oh yeah, son or daughter?” I questioned him.
“Oh?? What does he do,let me guess... a banker of course at Goldman Sachs?”
“No, he’s a diplomat! He’s forty, never married and lives in the city now,” he said,
Never married?” I asked.(of course this was music to my ears)
“Maybe he isn’t interested in women.”(OK thats something my RADAR didn't even think of !!) He recently has a partner! He’s a great guy… Well, what about me? I’m single!
“Whoa, really? Where do you live?” I asked him. (my matchmaking radar in full gear)
“Go figure, everyone says they’re from Palm Beach .”
“No, but unlike all the other guys I really am from Palm Beach., but staying out here with these friends for the week!”
After further interrogation in front of the produce counter, I found out that he was in his sixties,a WEALTHY retired gentleman….my kind of client!
For more information about Serious Matchmaking free teleseminars to learn all my pick up lines for men, click here and email me:
Matchmaker Spots Hottie in Aisle 3!
Sunday June 28,2009
Matchmaker Spots Hottie in Aisle 3!
Before I put my matchmaker’s hat on and begin my day at the beach, I decided to make a quick trip to the grocery store, King Kullen, in the Bridgehampton Commons of course. What I had planned to be a quick “in and out” trip, turned out to be more than I bargained for.
Thinking that the store would be empty, (being a beach day), I was pleasantly surprised, when I found myself standing on line behind a BEYOND HANDSOME man.(A matchmaker's delight!!)
Although this guy was hotter than hot, he had an angry look on his face; anyone would think he was ready to EXPLODE! Normally, this would be anyone’s queue to “stay away! But you know me!!!!! Shy miss matchmaker.
So, I slide my way in between him and the five other people in line (of course in my “World’s Coolest Mom” t-shirt”).
“Well what are you so angry about?” I asked.
Looking at me with the “get away from me face” he said, “This is the last place I want to be on a Sunday ...and the help here is Awful!” The whole month of June has been an absolute wash! This is not why I pay 500k for my summer."
“It costs you 500k to rent your house here? WOW…Where do YOU live??” I asked extremely interested.
“No, I don’t rent a house, I own a house in Sagaponack,” He responded.
The most expensive zip code in the country, I might add! Boy, would I love to see his estate!
“So you’re from the
“Nope, I’m from
Changing the subject quickly, I got right to the point.
“So why are you doing all the grocery shopping- and not your wife?”(My way of confirming his bare ring finger)
“I guess she’s just smarter than me.” He said.
“Oh? and how many kids do you have?" I asked.
“Four kids, what are you a detective ?” he questioned me.
(I get that a lot!) “Not quite” I smirked.
As I passed over my card, he smiled back at me for the first time during our conversation...
“You know…You’re much better looking when you smile…” I said.
As you can see, picking up guys isn’t as hard as everyone thinks, it can happen anywhere and at anytime…and a married man, can be just as good as a single one…because trust me some of my best referrals are from my “random run- ins” with married men!
Matchmakers Double Take
Matchmakers DOUBLE TAKE
June 20, 2009
Everyone who is familiar with my matchmaking services,knows that my summers are spent in my Bridgehampton office and what better place is filled with plenty of GREAT events and benefits to go to all summer. All of which I try to attend, not only for the good cause, but a great way to network!
Last Saturday, I attended with a very lucky women Julie ,( who was about to learn where and how to pick up men)
the Love Heals Benefit @ Luna Farm… (Which had to be moved indoors because of the rain!!?) A very upscale venue for me to do some matchmaking of course!
As we were walking around scoping the scene, I thought I saw my first celebrity sighting of the summer…normally I wouldn’t be too phased- but I had just seen the new movie, Proposal with hottie Ryan Reynolds- I had a double take when his look alike walked by.
“I have a question, did you see the new movie, Proposal with that hotter than hot guy, Ryan Reynolds- that I might add you look 10x better than?!” I said.
Flustered and blushing, this 6”2, tall, dark and handsome man just said, “Thank you!”
His reserved and shy attitude didn’t bother me in the least. I still drilled him with my usual questions. I come to find out that “my movie star” was in his 30s, never married and living in the city, and of course owns a house in the
Although, when I asked him about his occupation, He quickly responded with, “I do a lot of things...”
(Rich I said to myself).
Hmm? But before I had time to ask him about his job, over walks this tall gorgeous skinny blonde!
“You must be her next target! Janis hones in on the hottest guys- she probably wants you to be on her matchmaking roster… or maybe a client? she interrupted.
Some of you would probably think that she may have ruined things, but believe me, nothing phases me! Without hesitation, I passed my card over…
“You really think I need a matchmaker?!” he said.
“Well you are at this event flying solo… so you tell me?” I asked.
When I had a moment alone with “Barbie”, she had told me that my “movie star” was a player, go figure!
Hey- you can’t win them all! But no harm in trying….on to the next!
As usual he will be back after he is done playing around ……..THEY ALL ARE EVENTUALLY!!!!!!!!!!